S A R A ★

Tom: You know what sucks?
Tom: Realizing that everything you believe in, is complete and utter bullshit.

:’(

i feel so happy that my bolster got to meet you today and that you hugged it n slept with it for hours on end! i shall die with no regrets and say that my life is now complete! knowing that every night there will be flakes of you left on my bolster for me to smell and hug is a blessing! its like youre here with me physically and thats what ive always always wanted hehe baby i love you!

youre behind me sleeping, how precious u look! hit by a tranquilizer dart =) ok will go kiss u now

i want to go to universals studio with kenneth so bad im sure we will have sooo much fun like in genting! i hope it happens this week :(

12.34am right now and on any typical day.. I would have feared the pending of this hours because this is when when I will start feeling lethargic n restless ..then gradually tiresome n sleepy, which won’t be good, i hate Sleep, remember? It’s too intense..you know, When we had the conversation on Saturday, I didn’t know what to feel…or how I should have felt.there’s too much that u give me sometimes, then there’s the lack of it.the flurry of exchanges,a mixture of emotions that all of us are so familiar with, but somethings I guess I will never understand. Failing to find a chronic balance between being madly in love with you and staying sane, I left it at disequlibrium, I knew I could never achieve a balance so I went ahead n let u blow my mind

See,the one reason that made me fall so hard in love with you was because, u changed me. In an awesome way you made me realized things normal people wouldn’t be able to. N that was why u were different from everyone else, sure people have tried to see me in a better light/accept me for who I am because change was impossible but you, you did all the above + the impossible, that is quite a feat if I were to say so myself.through the years, this relationship started from a, ‘hey eye candy,’ to a ‘maybe I should go back to my ex’ to a further ‘theres no way a guy can love me so much’ n finally (or not quite) ‘he has had enough he may leave I’ve grown to love him so much he drives me up the wall but even that is a blessing’ state.Say, You are my ‘childhood lover’ quoting from your own words…or at least you fulfilled all the pre-requisites. I guess there never was a point of turning back. From the start when I fell deeper n deeper in love with you I probably convinced myself that there won’t be any good trying to stop myself from diving head first,especially when my better half is someone as perfect as you, and so I dived in all the way,no precautions taken but hey,not a single regret either

Of course the stupid me didn’t consider Change and how powerful it could be. But it doesn’t really matter does it? i read novels,love novels about forbidden/unrequited love n realized that even though each had such contrasting situations,their underlying meaning was clear - that everyone yearns to have a dramatic relationship at any one point of time in life, the kind where they know they have loved to the edge of no return, to the point of madness, the kind which drove them to depression, that have them clutching tightly to both sides of their bedsheets at every painful flashback as they fought back their tears, those lip-biting fantasies,the nefarious love making and wrist slashing moments as a declaration of love. Awful, but I guess it’s a kind of self fulfillment …..eh? having been thru such a love, even if u did love n lost… You don’t really lose anything.

I love u Kenneth, u said it’s bizarre how out of all the guys in the world, I choose to love u this much, I say it wasn’t by choice,but because of how u don’t realize that you’re the only person I have seen, whose actions have spoken louder than words, by 10 folds, easily. People say that all the time but talk is cheap, just like how they are. you on the other hand, are an exception

It was like the last time and the first time rolled into one. We screamed and scratched and loved each other like it was the last chance we ever would. Like we would never let go. We explored every inch of each other and marked it as our own. We whispered of how we loved each other, how we would be together. We fell asleep in each other’s arms, an intricate mess of limbs. Time was nothing. We were only seventeen and we had what some people never find at all. Love. The kind of love that makes you reach out for each other as you sleep. The kind of love that runs hot and cold because everyday you see that person in a new way. It’s the kind of love that you know will hurt you in the end but you still want it. Because what’s better than love?

-

we were only 17

you are sooooooooo good in bed

sister what did i do to deserve an angel like you

you are …

20 years 10 months and 27 days old 

a heartbreaker 
my one true love 
my baby
MY MAN 
my congcong 
my cute fingerprints 
my guy who likes to smell his fingers 
an awesome driver 
mr. ralph lauren 
my knight with the awesome jaw 
a shopaholic 
impossible 
my sex 
adventurous   
a great hugger 
a greater kisser 
my piggybacker 
easily bored 
my only exception 
awake 7 hours ago while i wait 24 hrs for a reply 
an awful singer 
restless  
reserved about your thoughts 
making me lose sleep 
dashing 
jen’s hero 
my hero  
your family’s hero 
my guy with the dimples 
a wink 
the one walking down the stairs 
the only one who breaks me 
so distant from me…